Celebrity conspiracy

I’m on a bit of a rant at the moment. So if you are not in the mood for one of those, I’ll excuse you. Go and have a coffee, or tea, or whatever.

Rushing through the local supermarket the other day my eye was unfortunately distracted by this…

What a horrific mess. I really pity the poor graphic designers who have to work on this kind of mind numbingly turgid stuff, a collision of typographic and photographic garbage.  Imagine spending three years hard graft at art college dreaming the dreams and longing for that day when you can join a decent design company. But you don’t, instead you end up working on one of the above titles. Yes, I know it’s a job in these difficult economic times, but is it going to improve the standard of design?

Looking at that array of sub mediocrity, I was not only struck by identical appearance, but the banal headlines - ‘Katie in crisis’. ‘Cheryl’s nightmare’ etc, etc. I of course realise that these magazines are part of the bigger ‘celebrity’-selling selling machine.

Stories, photographs and events are manufactured and stage managed to promote  the ever increasing number of vacuous ‘E’ and ‘D’ listers to the public eye in order to extract their ever diminishing hard eared cash. As PT Barnum once said, ‘No one went broke underestimating public taste.’ These stories promote books (mostly ghost written), TV shows, films, CDs and tours. They are a commercial deal between celebrity agents, their PR firms with news papers, magazines, publishers, film and TV companies.  But the ever-gullible magazine reading audience seems to accept it hook line and sinker. The target is fed the bait and groomed at a very young age to take this stuff seriously.

I moved on to my local Waterstones and found the bestsellers display looking almost as depressing as the super market experience.  It is dominated with predictable celebrity fodder grinning from book covers of remarkable similarity and blandness.  Take a look…

Not much elbowroom for the designer there then.

I happened to hear Damon Albarn on the Radio 4 the other day. He was attacking X Factor style shows, with their cosmetically enhanced judges strutting for attention. Albarn referred to these shows as ‘Karaoke Coliseums’- a perfect description I think. He went on to lament the passing of ‘Top of the Pops’ which he felt was a far more democratic way to explore a whole range of musical styles than the extremely narrow path of ‘Emperor Cowell’s homogenise, predictable product.

To compliment the depressing sight of the magazine rack and book shelf, we have the revolting spectacle of over hyped stage presentation of X Factor style shows, which must be an anathema to any aspiring set designer…

Recent years have witnessed Television becoming the breeding ground of the downright, down market cruel, competitive and confrontational shows where often naive participants are encouraged to expose themselves for the ridicule, and increasing delight of the audience. We routinely see, humiliation, bullying, bitchiness, emotional breakdowns and aggression – Big Brother, Britain’s Got Talent, X Factor, Dragon’s Den, The Apprentice, I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here (although the latter bunch deserve it) and of course all of Gordon Ramsey’s testosterone driven programmes. Even the seemingly innocent Come Dine With Me mocks its contestants. And the once straightforward Master Chef  is now whisked up into a dramatic frenzy with the overly extended (now de rigueur) pregnant pauses. Accompanied by edgy sound effects when announcing the winners and losers. But it’s all in the name of 21st century entertainment and lapped up by millions

We have to endure increasingly pompous and egotistical business entrepreneurs and D list entertainers spouting their banal and well-rehearsed opinions. In the process they too are elevated to ‘celebrity ’ status and become yet more fodder for the magazines racks.

I find it all deeply depressing and thank God for the safe haven of BBC Four, the one lone TV channel that treats its audience with some modicum of intelligence by producing and broadcasting thought provoking, engaging, inspiring and stimulating programmes. I am happy to pay my TV license fee just to support that channel, along with BBC Radio 3 and 4. But with the BBC under increasing economic pressure, nothing is safe. I am fearful that BBC television is on course for a slow disintegration into the bland predictability of the Sky stable and all those other sub standard satellite channels.

And yes, I know what you’re thinking - grumpy old man! – well, I guess I am. However, when the remaining vestige of quality television has gone, we will all be the poorer for it. Quality breeds quality. Crap creates yet more crap.

Someone once said, ‘Don't give the public what they want, give them what they didn't know they wanted’. It is ironic that the unlikely ‘Mad Men’, which was first aired very quietly on BBC Four...

Mad Men Inspired programming via BBC Four

and quickly developed an admiring audience, will no longer be associated with the BBC. HBO have got a better deal for the next series with, yes, you guest the purveyors of garbage, Sky. They let others take the risks and then mop up the rewards.

If you just relate to your own world it might start to make some sense. Imagine all graphic design plummeting to the standard of the magazine rack…

I don’t think you’d like it, would you?

 

Comments

[Carlo]

I really enjoy your blog. And look forward to reading it. I use to lean across my drawing board and chat with my colleagues. However now, with their faces illuminated in an electronic glow, that's no longer possible. I can't even see there heads. Keep ranting.

[Norman Boyd]

Totally agree Mike! I feel even worse when I look at British comics today. Next time you feel grumpy have a look at any comics rack in WHSmiths. They are no longer comics but bits of plastic with glossy characters attached! Impossible to 'rack' properly and impossible to browse. It'll take a very brave publisher to stop this trend!

[james h]

A wonderful article. I always loved to watch the Simpsons when it was shown on BBC2 at 6.00pm (rare thanks due to Channel 4 for resuming this tradition). They were shown a good couple of years after they were aired in the U.S. and it felt like something special; a good reason to watch T.V. Then Sky got into the habit of dishing out huge sums of money for each episode and showing four episodes a night; each sandwiched between 5 minutes of advertising space as well as 5 minutes' interval for good measure. Then the Simpsons became rather mediocre. I'm not saying these two things are directly connected. But no good comes from massively rich companies greedily throwing money at popular media.

[Dave]

While I agree with a lot of your sentiments Mike, please don't "pity the poor graphic designers who have to work on this kind of mind numbingly turgid stuff." I've been a magazine designer for over 20 years, worked at Smash Hits and other teen/celeb titles in their heyday, and believe me it was a LOT of fun. I also know (having done both) that it takes a hell of a lot more graphic design skill to design a celebrity weekly than it does to produce a tasteful niche fashion title where all you need to do is place a 48pt Helvetica headline on an 'edgy' photo and it's job done.

[mike dempsey]

Well, fun aside Dave. I would question your comment 'graphic design skill' and replace it with - how to shoe horn in as much information on the page as is possible to make it incomprehensible. But if you see your version as a 'skill' then I'm happy for you. But it is not my idea of graphic design.
And your, '48pt Helvetica headline...'observation (although I'd question the Helvetica bit) is sometimes all you need. If the photography has integrity and can stand on its own then, it is 'job done'. Horses for courses.

[Gerry Simons]

I discovered your blog via davidthedesigner and glad that I did. That was quite a rant but I agreed with every word of it. It's difficult to see how things will ever get better, but there is a market out there for well designed magazines or thought provoking programs and it's up to those who feel strongly enough to point out the difference, which you have just done and done so very well.

[Mark Bonner]

The big problem is that we simply don't rant enough.

Apathy is the 21st century's biggest challenge and we're all consumers at the end of the day. We get what we pay for, so we need to stop paying for it, and then the dwindling demand will lessen the supply.

Do I think that will happen? Not yet. Its about education in the end, so its a very complex problem.

My 10 year old sneeks upstairs to watch TV, and I always fear the worst. I went up to see what she was watching and found her watching the History Channel and a documentary about the ancient Egyptians with her 6 year old brother. Downstairs we had the X-Factor on!

I think the problem is that the population in general 'Stops' learning when we are past school and Uni for the lucky few. Its the 20 and 30 somethings who buy this crap who are losing out. These were the fascinated young kids who were plugged in to the subjects they were inspired by at school, who turn to the dark-side when they are adults.

I always think of the London Taxi Driver... they're always incredibly well informed and knowledgeable, which makes them fascinating to chat to.

I think its no coincidence when they've got radio 4 on all day while everyone gossips about the X-Factor in the back of their cabs.

[Brian Minards]

Brilliant comments Mike. I was feeling like I am the only one who is perplexed at the 'crap breeds crap' mentality generated by all you mention. This is a worrying state of affairs as we head full speed into the 'Apprentice' generation.

[Mark]

As with everything, money talks. And money usually means mass market. And mass market usually means mediocre. People like Apple buck this trend, but the same people who are loyal to Apple watch programmes like XFactor and buy Grazia. There's no rhyme or reason -- it's possible to like shit and intelligent stuff in the same measure. Just as it's possible to do mass appeal that's designed well. Why fight it, just make it better. I'd like to see Thomas Hetherwick design the XFactor set or Pentagram re-design Grazia. I'm not sure they would though.

[RomansEye Young]

Thank you, as I've been born and raised in hollywood california the Paradise for parasites...
The information you present has been going on here for the last 25 years and has final cloaked the world's "best" consumer minds. I have developed my Issue stand in music manufacture see for yourself: http://web.me.com/romansrocket/M._Romans/Welcome.html
I am with you in the trenches making the recording artist understand what they are doing and that they have the ability to change "it". As there are no more big "Recording Deals". They MUST create a way to connect beyond their audience’s world of instant and suffused content delivery. Please keep it up for at the end of each & every day we must fight the good fight. I see truth in your thoughts that you convey. So, don't think everybody sees this post as a rant. Truth makes us feel uncomfortable most of the time so we must just grow with it. Again thank you for your insight of observation...I get it

[Jay Keefe]

I have just read your thoughts on magazines and reality tv shows and it has made my day. I am glad I am not the only person who finds this material poison. One of my projects is looking at the very nature of this junk, which I do not think can be considered Design at all, given that it is void of any thought and skill. It makes me wander how bad things will eventually become given that this seems to be what people look to for entertainment and to aspire to! True Graphic Design is for the enrichment of Society and Culture.